OKCOOL

Have you ever written a blog post, press release or tutorial not really thinking about who is going to read it?

I have. Recently.

Last week I wrote a post for the okcool blog “quickly” announcing two new small business websites that we’ve just completed. I didn’t think about the copy, the audience or even the medium itself.

Re-reading the post a week later after a friend pointed it out to me, I realised how badly I’d conveyed not only the work that we’d done but I’d failed to mention how happy both clients were.

This is because I just wanted to make sure that I’d ticked off my “write post about website” to-do list item and that the achievement of crossing something off of my list was of more importance than my readers gratification and to a certain extent my business.

So… What now?

A re-write…

The first sentence is the most important, if we can get the reader to the end of it then we can worry about the next one, and so on.

We also need to know who our reader is. OKCOOL has quite a techie following but now that we syndicate the Simpleweb posts by RSS to the Simpleweb site itself, a lot of readers will be potential customers.

The new version, while still not up to par with a professional copywriter, certainly offers more information and is easier to read.

You can see the original post here, and the re-written post here

You judge which you think is better.